Losses
by mjulok
Summary: John Sheppard returns from an offworld mission and starts to think.


_**Author:** mjulok_

_**Rating:** K+  
_

_**Category: **Gen, Friendship  
_

_**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything Stargate.  
_

_**Summary:** Returning from an offworld mission Sheppard starts to think._

Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard stepped through the gate and was back in the gateroom on Atlantis in an instant. The mission to P4X-313 had been a success. They had found some kind of Ancient lab there and Rodney had been (or rather was) very excited about it. But John was planning on letting a science team check it out tomorrow or the day after, depending on who was free when. Rodney would probably insist on coming along though and John was going to let him do just that. He himself had other duties that needed taking care of and Teyla would probably want to spend some time with Torren and Kanaan on New Athos. Ronon was content as long as he was allowed to teach the marines how to defend themselves. But all that was for another day.

John greeted the lieutenant on guard duty in the control room:

"How's the fort holding up, lieutenant?" He said while unclipping the P-90 attached to his tac vest.

"Quiet as a mouse, sir"

"That's refreshing", John said, thinking about the events of the past week. He thanked Woolsey and Major Kersey for being in time to rescue them from the sinking hive and wondered if Todd had survived after he'd let him go. When thinking about Woolsey, John unconsciously looked up at said persons office and saw that the commander of the Atlantis Expedition wasn't there.

"Seen Mr. Woolsey around?", he asked the lieutenant. He had to tell Woolsey about the Ancient lab at some point and sooner rather than later sounded like the best alternative.

"Not for an hour or so, sir. I think he was going to the mess hall to grab a bite."

"Thanks, lieutenant. Carry on"

"Yes, sir." the lieutenant saluted and went about his buisness.

Following the proper end of mission proceedings John and the team first went to the armory to stow their gear and, second for their post mission check-ups in the infirmary. They all checked out fit as fiddles. Which was always good and especially now considering that they all had been on a hive ship when it crashed into the ocean just days ago.

When in the infirmary, John said goodbye to his team. They all had different things to do. Rodney had a lunch date with Dr. Keller (he still was a bit shocked that the two of them finally had had the guts to admit their true feelings for each other not under the influence of a terrible disease or in another life threatening situation). And the fact that Rodney was going to the date before checking out all the readings they had gathered on P4X-313 said a lot about how serious their relationship was. Teyla was meeting up with Kanaan and Torren and Ronon, well Ronon was hungry so he had headed straight for the mess.

John on the other hand had other duties apart from tracking down Woolsey and tell him about their recent findings. He had been putting it off for a week now (it had been a busy week, but still). There were reports to file and letters to be written. It was always hard, writing the letters for the families of the soldiers who had died under his command and it wasn't different this time. Lieutenant Williams and Sergeant Jones were just the latest of too many.

On his quest to find Woolsey he walked through the corridors of Atlantis barely aknowledging anyone, thinking about the men he recently lost, when he heard a woman's voice and the distinct clinking of a piano coming out from a door up ahead. He stopped right where he was. There were something about that voice and the piano. The voice mirrored his own emotions. There were a great sadness and a sense of loss in that voice.

_"The grass is greener on the other side,_

_I've told some people, now they know it._

_Forget your old lawn, come over to mine_

_take your first step and you will get there in time._

_It's true._

_Life would smile for you."_

John slowly walked up to the door, put his right hand on the door frame, and peeked inside. He had to know who was singing. It surprised him to see that it was the Swedish gate tech (he couldn't remember her name). She was sitting by the piano alone, tears gently falling down her cheeks. He saw that he wasn't the only one listening in but trying hard not to be seen. On the opposite side in the other doorway he saw Major Evan Lorne standing next to his team. John aknowledged him with a small nod and got an equally small nod in return.

_"The grass is greener on the other side,_

_Someone told me he had finally seen it._

_It's hard to believe it before you've tried it out_

_he's already there, he's finally home._

_It's true._

_Life would smile for you"_

He didn't know how long he had stood there, just listening, when he heard someone walking up behind him. He tried to compose himself, not wanting to show weekness in front of the people under his command. But he relaxed when he felt Teyla's presence.

"It's Ellen," she said, putting her hand on John's shoulder. For some reason she knew what he had been thinking. "She and Lieutenant Williams were close friends." And John understood.

He sometimes forgot that the Atlantis personnel were comprised of different nationalities and professions and that the people they lost (even if they only had been a name and a face for him) had close friends. Ellen had clearly thought a lot of the young lieutenant and was mourning him in her own way.

John turned around and looked at Teyla.

"I thought you were going to meet up with Torren and Kanaan."

"I'm on my way. I spotted you and just thought you needed a hand," Teyla answered.

"I'm fine," was John's automated reply.

_"It's true. Life would smile for you"_

The piano playing and singing stopped. John felt the burden of loosing men had eased a little. He silently thanked Teyla for showing up and the Swedish gate tech for playing.

"Are you still looking for Mr. Woolsey?" Teyla asked.

John nodded. "Have you seen him?"

"No"

"It can wait 'til tomorrow," he said stifling a yawn. "I'm headed for bed. Being in a completely uneventful mission will make you tired"

Teyla let a small chuckle out. "Goodnight John," she said and started to walk away.

"Night, Teyla," he said behind her.

He started to walk toward his quarters, when his headset chirped.

"Colonel Sheppard, sir" He recognised Chuck's voice.

"Sheppard here"

"We've detected a ship just outside the planet's atmosphere".

Great, he thought. "I'm on my way"

And all was back to normal in Atlantis.

**_A/N: _**_The song Ellen sings is "It's True" __ by Salem al Fakir, but I've changed the she's for he's. The song I listened to when this fic came to me._**_  
_**


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